Just how bad is Cancer

Poor Me – Cancer is the Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen……. Or Not

By Barbara Henderson

What comes to your mind when you think of cancer – besides ‘please God don’t let me or my family get it’?

A guess is that just as you think of Santa Clause and presents at Christmas, you think of frail people with no hair when you think of cancer.  You may also think of someone you already lost to the disease, or someone you know who is fighting the disease right now.  It is definitely a horrible disease.  Fighting it takes a lot of energy and resources.  You don’t know the outcome no matter how positive your doctors may be.  A giant cloud of uncertainty hangs over your life every single moment of the day including the time you are asleep!  Let’s look at it from a broader perspective and see if we can find a little smile in there somewhere.

Truth number one:

‘There are no ‘good’ illnesses.  Cancer under treatment is more obvious than a lot of illness, but is it actually worse?  Someone with cancer may have an actual fighting chance to extend their life.  Diseases like Parkinson, MS, Alzheimer’s, cystic fibrosis, aids, or cerebral palsy to name a few are equally debilitating and life altering for both the individual and the family.  You could also consider mental illness.  None of these are what you would call ‘easy’.  Any disease is just ‘One More Hill’ in the life you are living. 

Truth number two:

A great deal of life stays exactly the same regardless of your health.  Your health isn’t going to affect who you really are!  So, in this article I want to go over ‘who you are’.  Who you really are is not going to change due to any circumstance.

If you haven’t already done so you need to take some time to figure out who you really are.  It is called ‘self-definition’.  Take your time.  This isn't a timed test. 

Here is what my self-definition looks like:

I am a Christian woman, married, with grown children and grandsons.

I take my faith in Jesus Christ very seriously.

According to the promise of the Almighty God of creation I will spend eternity in heaven with God and all family and friends who also Christians.

I am a writer and a painter. 

I like to spend time with my family.

I like to travel.

I like to eat good food.

From the greatest to the least, none of these things changed because of my diagnosis.  Your self-definition won’t change because of your diagnosis either.  If you are ‘diagnosed’ with excellent health at your next physical, your self-definition will not be changed.  If you are diagnosed as terminal your self-definition won’t be changed either.  The mere thought of illness may lead you to give more thought to evaluating who you really are and trying to bring your self-definition in life with your personal actions.  That is a good thing. 

Self-definition leads to self-discipline.  If you really are who you claim to be it will show in your life.  If who you say you are doesn't line up with how you act then you better examine yourself a little more closely.  I mean, why live a lie?  When facing any illness you are brought face to face with death.  You realize that no matter what the outcome of cancer or any other illness, you won’t live forever on this earth.  It is time to get your eternal destination set.  Thank God you have been given a chance to consider your own mortality.  It encourages you to live your life more I keeping with who you say you are.

In the middle of self-definition and self-discipline there is self-reliance.  That is really where you can trust yourself to stay within the boundaries you have set for yourself. Something out of the ordinary is not an excuse to go off and do something you know to be wrong or hurtful to yourself or to others.  If you are blessed, you will already have deep ruts set in staying within the boundaries of your self-definition and self-discipline.  You are at a good place.  If you have never sat down and given thought to getting your ducks in a row then the diagnosis of cancer is a good time to start.  Don’t think of it as ‘I have to get right with God since I’m going to die’.  Think of it as setting a course that is right and good; and that if you live an additional seventy years, you will still be glad you set your feet on that course.

Truth number three:

An illness, whether it is cancer or something else, gives you a reason to consider exactly why you do some things and don’t do other things.  Look closely at your self-definition and your self-discipline.  A lot of things you don’t do may be fine to do.  The world around us is very skillful at hammering people into categories that have nothing to do with right or wrong.  We are pushed to do what is socially acceptable or politically correct.  Everything from our clothes to our homes to our jobs to our acceptable friends is pushed at us by society, government, and culture.  A great deal of it is simply someone’s idea of how things should be done.  It has nothing to do with who you personally really are. It has nothing to with right and wrong.  Now is the time to give yourself the freedom to do things that don’t violate your core values. 

Truth number four:

Busy work stinks!  Cut it out!  For those of you who don’t know, ‘busy work’ is staying busy at anything no matter how ridiculous it may be!  You don’t have to be busy every waking moment.  You don’t have to be involved in every church or community activity.  You don’t have to let yourself be pressured into accepting responsibilities you really don’t have the time or the inclination to take on.  You don’t have to do something simply because someone else feels it should be done.  You don’t have to save the planet.  You don’t have to recycle cans.  You don’t have to eat foods you don’t like because people somewhere are starving.    Now is the perfect time to re-evaluate your non-essential activities.