When you get THAT diagnosis there is a lot that should run through your mind. You can whisper - cancer - but don't actually say it out loud. Refer to it as 'that diagnosis'. To say it aloud might make you get it. Oh wait - I already 'got it'. Still it is probably better to never actually say the word aloud.
Anyway - the questions that should run the mind of a normal person after getting the diagnosis would be things like:
If I die will I go to heaven?
If I die who will take care of my family?
My husband wouldn't marry someone else would he?
How am I going to pay for this?
Is this gonna hurt?
My hair is gonna fall out? (You cannot be serious doctor!)
I wonder how many calories cancer burns up?
If I start to lose weight will I get to eat anything I want?
I am not gonna throw up with treatments am I?
Is this gonna take forever? (more than two months is basically forever.)
And a million other important things should be running through your mind.
BUT, I don't know about you, but in my case, here I am three weeks into the diagnosis and the though that is still burning deeper into my brain is 'Crap - it's cancer'.
That is far as I have gotten so far.
I know when my sister died unexpectedly I didn't thing 'crap'. I don't know what I thought but what I did was try to get through one year. At the end of that first year I faced the fact that even though it had a been a year I had not dealt with the loss of my sister. I was back to square one. Seven years later I had come to some sort of terms with the loss, and now almost twenty years later I am still not happy about it, but I have come to terms with it. By the way, for Christians, the death of a loved one means 'separation without communication for an unknown period of time. We know there will be a permanent reunion in heaven with God. There won't be any more tears in heaven. It is like the songs says, 'no sadness, so sickness, no pain, and no crying'. So I am looking forward to that day.
But in the mean time, I am still stuck with that one thought. 'Crap - it is definitely cancer'. I expect it will be over entirely before it even begin to seem real to me. Maybe that is a good thing. As of today, I just have to take it one day at a time and get through that.
If you are going through the same thing, OR something equally distressing and disruptive, perhaps we can help each other in some way.
I have noticed that burdens and trials falling on one person like a ton of bricks does not take away the burden that someone else is bearing.
I have also noticed, quite thankfully, that in the Bible the book of Job tells us that 'God turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends'. The benefit was obviously to Job's friends, but the main benefit was to Job himself. So, let us pray for each other, and always consider that no matter how difficult our vallery of sorrow or trial, that others are bearing a burden equally dreadful. Prayer is what helps everyone involved.
Anyway - the questions that should run the mind of a normal person after getting the diagnosis would be things like:
If I die will I go to heaven?
If I die who will take care of my family?
My husband wouldn't marry someone else would he?
How am I going to pay for this?
Is this gonna hurt?
My hair is gonna fall out? (You cannot be serious doctor!)
I wonder how many calories cancer burns up?
If I start to lose weight will I get to eat anything I want?
I am not gonna throw up with treatments am I?
Is this gonna take forever? (more than two months is basically forever.)
And a million other important things should be running through your mind.
BUT, I don't know about you, but in my case, here I am three weeks into the diagnosis and the though that is still burning deeper into my brain is 'Crap - it's cancer'.
That is far as I have gotten so far.
I know when my sister died unexpectedly I didn't thing 'crap'. I don't know what I thought but what I did was try to get through one year. At the end of that first year I faced the fact that even though it had a been a year I had not dealt with the loss of my sister. I was back to square one. Seven years later I had come to some sort of terms with the loss, and now almost twenty years later I am still not happy about it, but I have come to terms with it. By the way, for Christians, the death of a loved one means 'separation without communication for an unknown period of time. We know there will be a permanent reunion in heaven with God. There won't be any more tears in heaven. It is like the songs says, 'no sadness, so sickness, no pain, and no crying'. So I am looking forward to that day.
But in the mean time, I am still stuck with that one thought. 'Crap - it is definitely cancer'. I expect it will be over entirely before it even begin to seem real to me. Maybe that is a good thing. As of today, I just have to take it one day at a time and get through that.
If you are going through the same thing, OR something equally distressing and disruptive, perhaps we can help each other in some way.
I have noticed that burdens and trials falling on one person like a ton of bricks does not take away the burden that someone else is bearing.
I have also noticed, quite thankfully, that in the Bible the book of Job tells us that 'God turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends'. The benefit was obviously to Job's friends, but the main benefit was to Job himself. So, let us pray for each other, and always consider that no matter how difficult our vallery of sorrow or trial, that others are bearing a burden equally dreadful. Prayer is what helps everyone involved.
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