Poor Me – Cancer is the Worst Thing That
Could Possibly Happen……. Or Not
By Barbara Henderson
What comes to your mind when you think
of cancer – besides ‘please God don’t let me or my family get it’?
A guess is that just as you think of
Santa Clause and presents at Christmas, you think of frail people with no hair
when you think of cancer. You may also
think of someone you already lost to the disease, or someone you know who is
fighting the disease right now. It is
definitely a horrible disease. Fighting
it takes a lot of energy and resources.
You don’t know the outcome no matter how positive your doctors may
be. A giant cloud of uncertainty hangs
over your life every single moment of the day including the time you are
asleep! Let’s look at it from a broader
perspective and see if we can find a little smile in there somewhere.
Truth number one:
‘There are no ‘good’ illnesses. Cancer under treatment is more obvious than a
lot of illness, but is it actually worse?
Someone with cancer may have an actual fighting chance to extend their
life. Diseases like Parkinson, MS,
Alzheimer’s, cystic fibrosis, aids, or cerebral palsy to name a few are equally
debilitating and life altering for both the individual and the family. You could also consider mental illness. None of these are what you would call
‘easy’. Any disease is just ‘One More
Hill’ in the life you are living.
Truth number two:
A great deal of life stays exactly the
same regardless of your health. Your
health isn’t going to affect who you really are! So, in this article I want to go over ‘who
you are’. Who you really are is not
going to change due to any circumstance.
If you haven’t already done so you
need to take some time to figure out who you really are. It is called ‘self-definition’. Take your time. This isn't a timed test.
Here is what my self-definition looks
like:
I am a Christian woman, married, with
grown children and grandsons.
I take my faith in Jesus Christ very
seriously.
According to the promise of the
Almighty God of creation I will spend eternity in heaven with God and all
family and friends who also Christians.
I am a writer and a painter.
I like to spend time with my family.
I like to travel.
I like to eat good food.
From the greatest to the least, none
of these things changed because of my diagnosis. Your self-definition won’t change because of
your diagnosis either. If you are
‘diagnosed’ with excellent health at your next physical, your self-definition
will not be changed. If you are
diagnosed as terminal your self-definition won’t be changed either. The mere thought of illness may lead you to
give more thought to evaluating who you really are and trying to bring your
self-definition in life with your personal actions. That is a good thing.
Self-definition leads to
self-discipline. If you really are who
you claim to be it will show in your life.
If who you say you are doesn't line up with how you act then you better
examine yourself a little more closely.
I mean, why live a lie? When
facing any illness you are brought face to face with death. You realize that no matter what the outcome
of cancer or any other illness, you won’t live forever on this earth. It is time to get your eternal destination
set. Thank God you have been given a
chance to consider your own mortality.
It encourages you to live your life more I keeping with who you say you
are.
In the middle of self-definition and
self-discipline there is self-reliance.
That is really where you can trust yourself to stay within the
boundaries you have set for yourself. Something out of the ordinary is not an
excuse to go off and do something you know to be wrong or hurtful to yourself
or to others. If you are blessed, you
will already have deep ruts set in staying within the boundaries of your self-definition
and self-discipline. You are at a good
place. If you have never sat down and
given thought to getting your ducks in a row then the diagnosis of cancer is a
good time to start. Don’t think of it as
‘I have to get right with God since I’m going to die’. Think of it as setting a course that is right
and good; and that if you live an additional seventy years, you will still be
glad you set your feet on that course.
Truth number three:
An illness, whether it is cancer or
something else, gives you a reason to consider exactly why you do some things
and don’t do other things. Look closely
at your self-definition and your self-discipline. A lot of things you don’t do may be fine to
do. The world around us is very skillful at hammering people into categories that have nothing to do with right or
wrong. We are pushed to do what is
socially acceptable or politically correct.
Everything from our clothes to our homes to our jobs to our acceptable
friends is pushed at us by society, government, and culture. A great deal of it is simply someone’s idea
of how things should be done. It has
nothing to do with who you personally really are. It has nothing to with right
and wrong. Now is the time to give
yourself the freedom to do things that don’t violate your core values.
Truth number four:
Busy work stinks! Cut it out!
For those of you who don’t know, ‘busy work’ is staying busy at anything
no matter how ridiculous it may be! You
don’t have to be busy every waking moment.
You don’t have to be involved in every church or community
activity. You don’t have to let yourself
be pressured into accepting responsibilities you really don’t have the time or
the inclination to take on. You don’t
have to do something simply because someone else feels it should be done. You don’t have to save the planet. You don’t have to recycle cans. You don’t have to eat foods you don’t like
because people somewhere are starving.
Now is the perfect time to re-evaluate your non-essential activities.
